Do you understand by self-confidence?
Self-concept is the manner in which one perceives oneself. The Self-Concept is derived from several factors including certain personality traits, how you look, your personal values and life goals, and your place or role in life. The Self-Concept is the way babies and children start to understand the social world in relation to themselves. Relationships with relatives and friends/mentors influence the developmental process heavily. In childhood, the Self-Concept tends to be tied to concrete or physical things like looks, items, and skill levels. As the child grows, they learn about things like intrinsic (inner) characteristics and psychological differences due to the fact that they now have a larger network of peers and mentors to compare themselves with. Later in life (teenager-adulthood) the self- concept changes into a more nebulous idea that is organized by what is relevant to the individual. Self-Concept is an ever-changing concept depending on the person because of our feelings, personal belief systems and attitudes can change when new information is shown to us.
Self Esteem
Self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself, (for example, "I am competent", "I am worthy"), as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) defined it by saying "The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it."Self-esteem is attractive as a social psychological construct because researchers have conceptualized it as an influential predictor of certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships, and criminal behavior. Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, "I believe I am a good writer and feel happy about that") or a global extent (for example, "I believe I am a bad person, and feel bad about myself in general"). Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic ("trait" self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations ("state" self-esteem) also exist. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include self-worth, self- regard, self-respect, and self-integrity.
Development of Self Esteem
Self Esteem is learned, No one is born with high and healthy self-esteem> It comes from thoughts, feelings, and experiences we have had and continue to have throughout life. Self Esteem can be affected by daily circumstances, other people, and most importantly ourselves and can be changed and changed at any age.
01.Young children: high self-esteem due to unrealistically positive self-views
02.Older children: declining self-esteem due to external feedback
03.Adolescence: declining self-esteem due to abstract thinking about body image & future
04.Adulthood: increasing self-esteem due to increased position of power & status; peak the late 60s
05.Old Age: a decline in self-esteem due to changing roles, relationships & physical functioning; the decline in narcissism & feel modest, humble, & balanced; Erikson’s ego integrity vs. despair
High Self Esteem
People with a healthy level of self-esteem:
01. Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience.
02.Are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting their own judgment, and not feeling guilty when others do not like their choice.
03. Do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for the future but live in the present intensely.
04. Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures and difficulties. They ask others for help when they need it.
05. Consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior, while accepting differences in certain talents, personal prestige, or financial standing.
06.Understand how they are an interesting and valuable person for others, at least for those with whom they have a friendship.
07. Resist manipulation, collaboration with others only if it seems appropriate and convenient.
08. Admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or negative, revealing those drives to others only when they choose.
09. Are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.
10. Are sensitive to the feelings and needs of others; respect generally accepted social rules, and claim no right or desire to prosper at others' expense.
11.Can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others when challenges arise
Low Self Esteem
Low self-esteem can result from various factors, including genetic factors, physical appearance or weight, mental health issues, socioeconomic status, peer pressure or bullying. A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following characteristics:
01.Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.
02.Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of being attacked.
03.Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes. 44
04. The excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.
05.Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.
06. Neurotic guilt, dwelling on or exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.
07.Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.
08.Pessimism and a generally negative outlook.
09.Envy, invidiousness, or general resentment.
10. Sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.
Persuasion/Art of influencing people
Borg is a work psychologist and management consultant. He says that the power of persuasion is perhaps the ultimate source of advantage in life and work and is the critical factor that separates the successful from the rest. Persuasiveness can, however, be learned and mastered.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People.
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn, or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
01. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful, and with love.
02. Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you."[4] The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
01. Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
02. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together."People love their names so much that they will 45 often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their names.
03. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
04. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.
05.Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
01. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated; we must not be so blunt.
02. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
03. Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall."[6] If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
04. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.
05. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
06. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.
07. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
08. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
09. Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
10. Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
11. Throwdown a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.
Positive Attitude
01. A positive mental attitude is a belief that one can increase achievement through optimistic thought processes. A positive attitude comes from observational learning in the environment and is partially achieved when a vision of good-natured change in the mind is applied toward people, circumstances, events, or behaviors. Since it is difficult to quantify (measure) the effects of a positive mental attitude, it can be considered a philosophy and a way to approach life. Here are 7 ways that we can all work toward developing a positive outlook.
02.Focus On The Present How often do you find that things you worry about for days end up not happening at all, or not being as big a problem as you thought? But, by focussing on the present as much as possible, you can minimize the worries and fears that lead to negative emotions.
03. Use Positive Language Do you ever notice how much of what you say is negative? Some people constantly complain about the weather, their work, their spouse, their neighbors, and any number of other things. We all do it from time to time. However, it’s good to remind ourselves that our words are shaped by our thoughts, and the more we can look for positive things to say, the more positive our thoughts will become. Willie Nelson said it well when he said, once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.
04. Make it your endeavor to commit to positive thinking. So, each day when you wake up give yourself a mini pep talk – what do you want to achieve? How will you react to trying situations? How will you avoid negative thoughts? Remember, thinking positive is a habit, which means it’s possible to learn how to do it.
05. Accept When Things Aren’t Perfect It can be difficult to let go of the need for perfection and control in your life, but sometimes it’s very liberating to simply accept that things will not always go the way you hoped, and that’s okay. Sometimes things happen that are out of your control, and rather than wasting your energy on negative emotions, it’s better to just accept that things didn’t go the way you planned or wanted. Remember, most things pass with time.
06. Mix With Positive People It’s a fact of human nature that we tend to mimic the people we spend the most time with. Think of how teenagers tend to conform to the social code of their friends. It’s the same for everyone else, too. So, the more frequently you spend time with positive thinking people, the more likely it is that you will begin to think and act in a similar fashion. Also, don’t underestimate the power of laughing either, it has a wonderful way of reducing stress, connecting you with those around you, and generally making you feel better all rounds...
07. Contribute In A Meaningful Way One of the best ways to feel more positive is to contribute to your community in some way. It can be tremendously uplifting to help others, whether it’s through the use of your time, skills, or financial contributions. As well as the good feelings that come with making a difference in someone’s life, contributing your time and effort to a cause allow you a brief escape from your current problems, and perhaps may even allow you to see your troubles in a different light.
08. Keep Learning to Develop a curiosity about the world around you and the people in it. No matter what situation you’re in right now, there is always something we can learn from it. Taking a real interest in life gives you energy, it helps create new ideas in your mind, and gives you a different way of thinking about things, that can have a positive impact on your life as a whole.
09. Be Grateful Spend a little time each day thinking of things that you are truly thankful for in your life. Reminding yourself of all the reasons you have to be grateful, helps to maintain some focus on your situation. 48 Being thankful will often turn initial anger or frustration into something more positive. Remember, we all have weaknesses, but focusing on your strengths prevents them from getting the better of us.
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